Like me, you may have heard, read, or witnessed conversations about penis size and that girth (aka width) is the end all be all. Is it, though? I mean, seriously, is girth better than length? Let’s finally answer the age-old question once and for all: What’s better, girth or length?

Girth vs. length: Does it really matter?

Alright, let’s get into it, shall we? What’s better, girth or length? Well, they each provide two very different but very satisfying feelings in the vaginal area. Girth provides a sense of fullness whereas length focuses on depth. Although length may be aesthetically impressive, girth is where it’s at.

In a survey taken by Men’s Health, 70% of women preferred girth to length whereas only 18% of respondents said that length was most important to them. (The other 12% noted penis size didn’t matter to them at all.)

It makes sense, though. The vagina is about 2-4 inches deep but when aroused it can stretch 4-8 inches, notes Planned Parenthood. Though the vagina can fit a hard penis, the clitoris is mostly internal, made up of erectile tissue that surrounds the inside of the vagina.

When the penis applies pressure to the erectile tissue, it stimulates the clitoral nerves. This means the wider the penis the more clitoral stimulation, which means higher likelihood of an orgasm.

Lisa Lawless, PhD, CEO of Holistic Wisdom, Inc., is a clinical psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in clinical psychology, relationships, and sexual health as well as sexual products, agrees. “Generally, women prefer a penis that is thicker rather than longer because it provides more stimulation to the area inside the vagina called the G-spot,” she explains.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that size isn’t as important as the angle of the penis because pressure against the G-spot as well as stimulation against the head of the clitoris is the most effective way to provide stimulation to achieve orgasm, shares Lawless.

Plus, sexual positions can change the pressure a penis puts against the clitoris and the G-spot area, so finding the correct positions for the shape of a woman’s vagina is ideal.

In addition, most women find pressure on their cervix irritating or painful, so a long penis may cause discomfort during penetration, especially if her cervix is lower. (This can happen before menstruation.)

Let’s not forget about that 12% in that survey, though. 12% of women said penis size didn’t matter to them, and I think they may be onto something here…

How the girth vs. length debate can apply outside of the bedroom

The girth vs. length debate can be a good lesson to apply outside of the bedroom. Whether we’re online dating (spare me) or dating in the wild, some of us may find ourselves unintentionally body shaming or setting ridiculous limits to things like height (6 feet or above), penis size (big), or weight (can’t weigh less than me).

The answer to “is girth better than length” can remind us that what we think we want may not actually be the end all be all in a partner. In fact, just because someone doesn’t meet our unrealistic aesthetic standards doesn’t mean they won’t be a supportive partner who can please us in the bedroom.

So what’s better, girth or length?

At the end of the day, whether your partner has the girth, the length, or maybe both, what matters most isn’t about penis size at all. Rather, what’s really crucial is communicating with your partner on what feels good so you can both have a good time together whether that good time is in the sheets or in the streets.