By Dannie Murphy, Sydney Lambert, and Matt Vitacco as told to David Robertson

Name: Dannie Murphy (she/her/ela)

Age: 29

City: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Program Manager at Google

I have actually had a lifelong journey with fitness. I was a competitive swimmer in middle and high school, then was a passive athlete, and now coach rowing at Row House. What has changed for me is my perspective on fitness — previously I saw my participation in fitness primarily centered through a competitor’s mindset, but now I see my participation in fitness through a “whole mind and body wellness” mindset.

In my most recent “return to fitness,” I tried a number of different studio fitness options and after trying Row House, I knew it was the home for me. I was looking for a form of movement that was low impact, inclusive, and “individualized yet community-building,” all of which Row House offers.

Along with finding Row House in my “return to fitness” has been a journey centered in strength and joy. Strength in both mind and body — finding resilience and dedication, finding the ability to row for longer distances and faster split times, and finding confidence in who I am as a person. 

It has also been the first time I have felt comfortable with my “visible belly outline” (VBO) in a fitness context. I read this article years ago and have always aspired to be comfortable with this part of my body. My current fitness journey, even as a coach, is a place where my VBO is loved and celebrated, and it affirms my identity in so many ways even beyond fitness.

As a queer person, I am somewhere in the middle of femme and masc presenting, and my VBO has always been a nuanced part of that presentation — having peace with my VBO has evolved so much of my overall presentation. 

Fitness is inherently personal and takes a lot of experimentation, so my advice to everyone is to be aware that there is no one right way to “do fitness.” 

Name: Sydney Lambert (she/her/hers)

Age: 29

City: Berryville, VA

Occupation: Master Trainer and Lead Teacher for Pure Barre

Throughout my life, I was always moving my body. After high school, my relationship with fitness changed for a few years. I was no longer cheerleading once I reached college, so the group aspect of fitness that held me accountable was no longer a part of my life. I had also entered eating disorder treatment at the end of high school, and due to my tendency to over-exercise due to my disorder, I was made to stop working out altogether. It took me a few years to really play around with fitness again and figure out how to fit it into my life in a healthy way that I enjoyed.

Once I graduated from college, I moved home to attend graduate school and get my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I was not working out until after I went through a breakup. A friend of mine reached out to check in and offered to get me out of the house by going to a Pure Barre class together.

I had never heard of Pure Barre before that, but the workout immediately stuck! I loved that it was a way of connecting both my body and mind, especially as I was learning about the mind-body connection in school. It was a great stress reliever and really helped me find friends and connections when I needed them most. I had truly never enjoyed movement or fitness until I found Pure Barre, and I still do it to this day, over seven years later.

Since finding barre, I’ve definitely noticed that all of my major muscle groups have become stronger and that my endurance is much better. My journey, though, has been really focused on how physical wellness can influence mental wellness. I’ve noticed that I feel happier and more connected to others due to fitness. I’ve learned how to appreciate my body not for how it looks, but for everything it can do for me. 

Fitness, and Pure Barre specifically, have really helped me to feel comfortable in who I am as a lesbian. My Pure Barre studio has been a home away from home and has given me a safe place in which I can express myself and be who I am fully, without any fear of judgment. Knowing that I have somewhere that can help me both physically and mentally has given me so much more peace throughout my adulthood.

When I first went to Pure Barre teacher training, I was very nervous to come out to the other girls I was there with, as I was unsure as to how they would react. Once I did come out, all of them were incredibly accepting. When my now-wife and I got engaged, my studio didn’t even hesitate to share a congratulatory social media post, which made me feel so special, as it was clear in that moment that I was supported. Members of the team and some of the studio clients at the time showed up to all my pre-wedding festivities and were there for the wedding, too.

When I joined the corporate team during the summer of 2021, I was nervous at first to have to “come out” again because it often feels like you have to every time you’re around someone new. I immediately began telling people proudly about my wife and nobody batted an eye. Again, it was so nice to feel supported in a place that I love so much. Throughout all my time at Pure Barre, I’ve received nothing but support. This place and this brand have been a sanctuary of healing and acceptance for me since 2016, and I love the opportunity to provide that to others.

I would love to tell my younger self that she will find people who love her for who she is and that will lead her to love herself as well. I think younger Sydney would also be excited to know that she will be able to have a relationship with exercise and fitness in which the main goal isn’t to shrink but to truly grow stronger and appreciate everything her body can do for her.

I would love my readers to know that the community aspect of fitness, be it in a studio, on social media, or however they find it, can be so important to self-love and healing. It can be hard and scary for people who are in the LGTBQIA+ community to find a place where they can truly be themselves, so finding an accepting place where you can work on both mind and body is huge. Having a chosen family is important, and I’m glad I’ve found mine at Pure Barre.

Name: Matt Vitacco (he/him/his)

Age: 31

City: Chicago, IL

Occupation: Teacher

Growing up, I was the kid picked last for sports and fitness activities. I didn’t have many hobbies and I rarely went to the gym. I always enjoyed playing sports or learning about fitness, but never felt comfortable seeking out fitness. 

When I was in college, my best friend attended a dance fitness class, Zumba. She invited me to take a class with her, and I was very hesitant. I was the only boy in class and felt nervous. However, once the music started, I felt so free. The instructor made the studio feel safe and inclusive and personally came up to me after class to tell me that I should think about becoming certified. I never thought of myself as athletic, and her words are forever with me. Fast forward to the present, and I’m teaching dance fitness classes three times a week with 10 years under my belt as an instructor. 

Fitness has helped me transform both my mind and body. I suffer from fairly intense anxiety, and growing up was tough because I didn’t have an outlet to help. Ever since I found fitness, I can use it as a coping strategy. I have also seen a transformation in my body. I have grown muscle, and most importantly, feel stronger. 

Fitness is also the number one thing that helped me find my identity. As a gay man, I never felt like I really had a safe space in the world. Taking dance classes and eventually teaching them was monumental in building up my self-love and pride. Dancing is an activity I truly love and a powerful way in which to express myself. Having a safe space like the dance studio, where everyone supports each other, allowed me to drop my walls and show my true identity.

Some advice I would give my younger self would be to not feel intimidated by fitness. I wish I could go back in time and have the bravery to ask my parents to sign me up for dance or gymnastics classes. 

Beyond that, I think it’s important to try out different activities. Don’t let others dictate or deter your personal fitness journey and what you enjoy. Though I started with dance fitness, I have branched out to many other types of training and movement. Each one helps me celebrate my identity in a different way.

While I consider myself pretty knowledgeable when it comes to fitness, I have worked with a coach to help me along the way. If you can afford to have some kind of community around you, whether it’s a coach, a friend, a group fitness participant, etc., you will feel supported and go far in your fitness journey.