Alright, so you’re already pretty well-versed in orgasms. You know what they’re all about, how to have multiple orgasms, and you’ve even had some fun exploring different types of orgasms. Now you’re ready for something new.

Perhaps a way to control and maybe even intensify orgasms? Enter edging. Edging is a way to explore your sexual pleasure, extend how long your sexual buildup lasts, and when it’s right for you to finish. Here’s everything you need to know about edging.

What is edging, and what does edging mean?

Simply put, edging is an orgasm control technique. A person gets right up to the point where they’re about to orgasm and then they stop stimulation, wait, then start stimulation again. This increases sexual buildup in the hopes of experiencing a more intense and longer orgasm and making partnered sex last longer.

Lisa Lawless, PhD, CEO of Holistic Wisdom, Inc., is a clinical psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in clinical psychology, relationships, and sexual health as well as sexual products, says edging can be a powerful tool for exploring new ways to experience pleasure and can create stronger neural pathways in the brain for delayed gratification.

“Approaching it with an open mind and playful curiosity will allow you to maximize its benefits, such as leading to a deeper understanding of one’s sexual responses and creating stronger connections with partners,” she says.

Edging is great to practice through masturbation. It gives you greater knowledge and understanding of what you like and what feels good to you and your body. Edging by yourself provides the opportunity to get to know your own body better and what really gets you going, just like masturbation does.

What does edging do, and are there any benefits?

Besides a more intense and longer orgasm, edging can make partnered sex sessions last longer. Let’s look at the numbers. 

During penetrative sex, men last an average of 5.4 minutes before they orgasm. (This was cited in a 2005 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.) 

On the other hand, women, on average, take 14 minutes to orgasm, as stated in a 2018 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Women who have trouble reaching the Big O sometimes need upwards of 17 minutes to reach climax.

That means women need almost three times the amount of time to orgasm. If you have a male partner, this is where edging can be helpful. 

By using this start-stop method in the bedroom, edging can help partners get in sync while improving male stamina. This can allow both partners to enjoy greater sexual satisfaction and longer sex sessions together. Sounds like a win-win for everyone.

Tips for edging

If you’re interested in trying edging for yourself, Lawless has a few tips to share.

“As with any sexual activity, exploring personal preferences is essential,” she says. “The key to edging successfully is to listen to your body and stay attuned to your boundaries and desires. Communicating openly with partners about what feels good and what does not is part of keeping edging consensual and respectful.”

Keep in mind, edging isn’t for everyone, and there’s no one way to approach it. However, you can start exploring without a partner using masturbatory time as this will allow you to focus on your preferences and sensations without the distraction of a partner. Next, use techniques such as breathwork, mindfulness, and self-stimulation to become more aware of your body and its responses to sexual stimulation.

If you want to create some level of structure, Lawless suggests setting a timer to go off in 10 minutes and not allowing orgasm until the timer goes off. (You can always increase the time if you desire.) “This can heighten the sense of urgency and tension relief,” she says.

When you’re ready to involve a partner, have a clear and open conversation about your boundaries, desires, and expectations. Set aside time for experimentation and exploration, and be prepared to communicate before and throughout the process.

“Remember that edging is about delayed gratification, so do not be afraid to take breaks and return to it later,” says Lawless. “Staying attuned to your body and your emotional responses throughout the experience is important.”

Tip: Whether you’re engaging in solo masturbation or partner play, don’t forget adequate lubrication. Need some recommendations? Try Lube Life. Whether you’re looking for hybrid lubricant, water-based lubricant, or any other type of lube, Lube Life offers a variety of options for all of your sexual play preferences.

Take it to the edge with edging

The bottom line: Edging is a super simple way to extend, improve, and intensify your orgasms. Whether you’re riding solo or enjoying some partner play, edging is a great way to lengthen your sexual soirees and can help make your sexy time way more pleasurable for you and your partner.