1. “…Ready for It?”
Workout: Pre-game Pump-Up
Why: This song first debuted as a teaser for a college football matchup between Alabama and Florida State, and for the life of me, I will never be able to associate it with anything else. “Ready for it” in 2017 is akin to Nelly’s “Heart of a Champion” in 2004 – it’s the perfect pre-game pump-up song that will undoubtedly be on every high school team’s warm-up mix until 2020, whether you like it or not.
2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future)
Workout: Strength training
Why: If you want to be on the A team, first things first – you’re going to need to put in the work in the weight room. Bonus points: do a burpee every time you hear Taylor say the word “reputation.” (Hint: it’s going to be a lot of burpees)
3. “I Did Something Bad”
Workout: Axe Throwing
Why: Is throwing sharp objects around with reckless abandon bad? Yes, probably. But does it feel so good? You bet your ass.
4. “Don’t Blame Me”
Why: I’m a sucker for a good vocal harmony, and whatever is happening in this song is working for me. Just like a good interval workout, this song builds up steadily, grows stronger and ends on a high note.
Workout: ¾ of the way through a power yoga class
Why: This song is that moment in class when you’ve done enough Sun A salutations to crave something out of your comfort zone. Like your latest attempt at crow pose, this song is a little hesitant, a little vulnerable and a little bold. You’re a little scared you might fall straight onto your face, but not too scared to try.
6. “Look What You Made Me Do”
Why: I’m going to be honest, even though this song dropped as a single in late August, I still don’t know how I feel about it – some days I love it, other days I hate it, but I never just like it. While I miss the old Tay (RIP), I do dig the seductive beats and underlying angst in this song. Turn up the volume and channel your hate for your enemies (or your hate for this song) and take it all out on a punching bag.
7. “So It Goes…”
Why: The tranquil vibes in this song are perfect for zoning out on a long, easygoing ride. You’ll be so caught up in the moment that you won’t even realize how much cardio you’re getting in.
Workout: Barry’s Bootcamp
Why: We’ve all had that crush who is so ridiculously good-looking that we trip up on our words and say stupid things like, I don’t know, “you’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your face, ‘cause look at your face.” Guess what? Those crushes all grow up and turn into Barry’s Bootcamp instructors, who are the most attractive humans on the planet. This song was practically written for Barry’s – it even references being in a dark room (coincidence? I think not). There’s no denying that this song a total bop, and it’s the perfect tempo for a nice warm-up jog and some bicep curls.
9. “Getaway Car”
Workout: Running at night
Why: This song is the perfect tempo for the type of jog you take when you just want to get out of your own head for a little while after a long day. It also sounds like a jam that would have fit well in the prom scene of a 1980’s movie, but that’s neither here nor there.
10. “King of My Heart”
Workout: Aerial Yoga
Why: Just like aerial yoga, sometimes this song seems smooth and effortless, other times it’s pretty intense. Sometimes I like it and sometimes it’s just ok. There’s just a lot going on, ok?
11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”
Workout: Dancing. With your hands tied.
Why: I mean, c’mon, the literal interpretation of this is just too good to pass up. Like most songs on this album, I have no idea how a human being can dance to it without looking extremely awkward, and adding the “hands tied” element makes it even better. If you try this at home, please feel free to send me video evidence. I’m here for the lols.
Why: Taylor Swift is burning and shaking in this song, just like your legs and arms will be. Plus, barre focuses on toning the glutes, legs, arms and abs – AKA everything that makes you look good naked when you take that dress off.
13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”
Workout: Leisurely swimming (preferably at a mansion or lakehouse)
Why: This song is the summer banger that accidentally came out in November. This song pairs best with a champagne-forward mimosa, gossip, and an instagrammable pool floaty. Please enjoy responsibly.
14. “Call It What You Want”
Workout: Cycling Cool-Down
Why: This song is three things: (1) lower tempo, (2) hopeful and (3) self-congratulatory, AKA everything I want at the end of a rigorous 40+ minutes of sweating on a stationary bike. Plus the line, “I brought a knife to a gun fight” basically explains how I feel 10 minutes into every cycling class ever.
15. “New Years Day”
Workout: Rest day
Why: Ahh, a refreshing breather at the end of an otherwise energetic and aggressive album. *Deep inhale, deep exhale.* Time to relax, soak it in, and prepare to do it all over again.