There aren’t many things in life better than an orgasm — am I right or am I right? Whether you’re all about that female masturbation (get it, girl!) or you’re one of the few who’ve experienced a nocturnal orgasm, the bottom line is that orgasms are pretty great.

Maybe you’ve had an orgasm before or maybe you’re not sure — hey, either way, there’s nothing wrong with learning more about how to orgasm. Sexual health is important — and if you want an orgasm how-to, well, then consider this your ultimate guide to female orgasms. (You’re very welcome.)

Guide to female orgasms

What is an orgasm?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, an orgasm is the climax of sexual arousal when the body releases sexual tension and pressure. Also known as climaxing, cumming, or having the big “O,” an orgasm usually lasts a few seconds and feels really good as it involves very intense feelings of pleasure in the Queen V and throughout the body.

Orgasms occur during sexual stimulation of your genitals and any of the erogenous (sexual) zones of the body. This includes the anus, clitoris, nipples, and vagina. (For all of you male readers out there, this also includes the penis and testicles.)

An orgasm can occur during masturbation or during sex with a partner and is one of the four stages in the body’s sexual response cycle, which includes desire (libido), excitement (arousal), orgasm, and resolution.

What happens during and after an orgasm?

During an orgasm, a few things happen in the body:

• Blood pressure, breathing rate, and heart rate all increase.
• Hormones (dopamine and oxytocin) are released into the bloodstream.
• Muscles in your anus and genitals rhythmically contract repeatedly for about once per second for several seconds.
• Your body finally releases all of that sexual tension that built up during the first two phases of the sexual responses cycle.

What about after an orgasm? Well, if you’re a guy, you’re most likely ready to pass out. (But seriously.) 

After you orgasm, your body slowly returns to its normal state as you recover. That means body parts that have become erect or swollen, such as the clitoris or penis, go back to their previous color and size. Genitals may feel overly sensitive or uncomfortable to the touch, while your skin may feel or look flush (oh hey, post-coital glow) — and you may feel really relaxed, super satisfied, or tired.

Some people may become sexually aroused again in a few minutes and may be ready to go for round two, allowing for multiple orgasms, while other individuals may need more time to recover. Everyone is different, just like orgasms.

Types of orgasms

Wait, there are different types of orgasms? You bet! According to the Cleveland Clinic, there are multiple types of orgasms, including anal orgasms, clitoral orgasms, and vaginal orgasms. I think we could also add a G-spot orgasm to this list as well. A person may also experience a combination orgasm where they may be stimulated in multiple places simultaneously, which can cause a more intense orgasm. 

Some may even experience an orgasm from an erogenous zone. The Cleveland Clinic notes this is pretty rare, but some people may reach orgasm by the stimulation of their breasts, ears, elbows, knees, neck, nipples, or wrists.

What does an orgasm feel like?

Wonder what an orgasm feels like? An orgasm is generally pretty intense and pleasurable. The reason an orgasm feels so good is that during an orgasm, the body releases dopamine (the feel-good hormone) and oxytocin (the love drug). These hormones merrily mix together to create a cocktail of increased happiness and positive emotions that counteract cortisol (the stress hormone).

An orgasm can last a few seconds or longer and may feel mild or intense, but it can feel different for everyone and it can feel different each and every time. Ejaculation or a release of fluid may occur for both men and women and all of these differences are completely healthy and normal.

Sometimes, you may reach orgasm easily and quickly without much stimulation, while at other times, you may need to put in more effort and time. (It’s a marathon not a sprint here, folks!) Some people need specific sexual aids or stimulation to climax, which can include sex toys like vibrators.

Orgasm benefits

Lee Phillips, EdD, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist, says there are so many benefits to an orgasm. “An orgasm at least once or twice per week appears to strengthen the immune system’s ability to resist flu and other viruses and helps with increased brain activity,” says Phillips.

In 2017, Nan Wise, PhD, completed a study looking at orgasm and brain activity. The results indicated there was an increase in blood flow during an orgasm. Therefore, this is an exercise for the brain. For pain relief, some women and other vulva owners find that an orgasm’s release of hormones and muscle contractions helps relieve the pain of menstrual cramps and raise pain tolerance in general. 

Phillips explains that orgasms can create endorphins and estrogen, which tend to improve mood and ward off depression in women. “The hormone oxytocin, which may play a role in feelings of intimacy, increases five-fold at orgasm, while the neurotransmitter dopamine, released during orgasm, triggers a stress-reducing, sleep-inducing response that may last up to two hours,” says Phillips.

To recap, besides feeling good, orgasms have several health benefits. Some research indicates orgasms may improve headaches and other pain, heart health, menstrual cramps, self-confidence, sleep, and stress.

Trouble reaching orgasm?

When it comes to orgasms, many people have to experiment with different methods, whether with themselves or with a partner, before they can achieve an orgasm. 

If you’re struggling to reach the big “O,” the Cleveland Clinic notes a few factors that may be interfering, including:

• Advancing age
• Alcohol, drugs, or medication
• Beliefs or taboos about sex
• Expectations
• Hormone imbalances
• Lack of emotional connection or comfort with a partner
• Low sex drive due to hormonal imbalances
• Past bad experiences with sex
• Poor physical or mental health, including some medical and psychological conditions
• Stress

Achieving an orgasm is different for everyone, but if you’re struggling to achieve an orgasm, talk to your healthcare provider, primary care physician, or ob-gyn.

Tips for having an orgasm

Wondering how to orgasm? Phillips offers a few sex-pert tips.

For starters: “I often recommend exploring your body through masturbation,” says Phillips. “If you want to receive amazing pleasure, it is all about the clitoris. The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings and it is the one organ made for pleasure, so do not ignore it.”

How do you do this? Phillips says to use your pointer and middle finger, then squeeze your outer lips together around your clit area. Next, move your fingers by moving up and down by squeezing and releasing. Phillips also recommends making large figure-eight circles over your genitals. Be sure you go over the clit, the clitoral hood, and around the vaginal opening. 

You can also include sex toys. “Toys are amazing to use even during penetrative sex because women and other vulva owners need extra stimulation,” says Phillips. “Many women come in to see and share that they are not receiving the pleasure they desire and that penetrative sex is not enough in helping them reach orgasm.”

Need some brand recommendations? Check out Zalo and consider starting with the Bess 2 Clitoral Massager. Oh, and if you need extra lube, try Pure for Men Coconut-Based Lube.

The bottom line on orgasms

Call it climaxing, cumming, or reaching the big “O,” orgasms are a part of sexual health. If you’re in need of an orgasm how-to, then bookmark this guide to female orgasms. Go forth, enjoy, and have some fun. Orgasms for everyone!